I know that admitting to watching this show is like complaining about your weight, gushing about your new pedicure color or other activities so feminine and insignificant to our nation that I should be ashamed…

But dude, if you’re reading this here mommybloggy site then there’s a very good chance that tonight you’re going to put on your favorite pink flannel pjs, pour yourself a glass of wine and pour yourself into the whining lives of the surgeons of Seattle Grace hospital.

Now, I Googled “Grey’s Anatomy drinking game” and some pretty funny results came up, but they didn’t have what I was looking for. I’m not looking to get loaded, and why waste good pinot by pounding every time someone says STAT? And I don’t worship this show. It’s entertaining in its fluff and fast plot moves and soapiness. The fun I get from watching it reminds me of catching 90210 in college. GA’s about as concerned with issues medical as GH (General Hospital, if unlike me your grandmother didn’t get Soap Digest.)

So without further ado, here’s the official

APISS Grey’s Anatomy Drinking Game
Pour yourself a generous glass of your favorite adult beverage. If you’re knocked up or don’t drink, for every sip consume an M&M or other fave tiny treat.

Then drink every time…

  • Someone utters the words “save a life.”
  • You catch a glimpse of formerly-in-real-life pregnant Ellen Pompeo actually looking un-concave
  • Patrick Dempsey blinks like Dora the Explorer two times before answering a question.
  • Someone rushes into an elevator at the last minute.
  • Someone drops a big emotional bomb in a conversation and then walks away.
  • The new red haired dude refers to Iraq as “the sand pit.”
  • You start calculating how old these second (or third?) year residents are supposed to be and the actors’ real-life ages.
  • Meredith starts talking about her own life when treating a patient.
  • McSteamy’s unsuccessful in masking his personal turmoil over his sex tape.
  • Lexi runs three or more breathless sentences together like a spineless twit and then looks up like a puppy seeking affirmation.
  • Alex attempts kindness but then acts like an ass.
  • You catch sight of where Izzy’s fake-bald skull cap ends.
  • Jessica Capshaw cruises by on her stupid wheelie sneakers.
  • You wonder what the incredible Sandra Oh is doing on this show.
  • Sandra wordlessly tilts her head to the side and conveys her own disbelief.
  • A dead character appears in ghost form.
  • You contemplate alternate hairstyles for Dr. Bailey.
  • A Mac vs. PC commercial with Justin Long airs.

Chug when

  • The Chief yells “We SAVE LIVES!” or sternly addresses the staff as “PEOPLE!”
  • One of the new interns actually speaks or is spoken to.
  • You catch a line that you know was written by Shonda Rhimes herself…usually one that sounds like it was lifted directly from Oprah.
  • Someone has sex.
  • Someone cries.
  • Someone cries while having sex.
  • Someone actually acknowledges having had sex with the late George (other than former wife Cali.)
  • Someone actually treats, and seems like he/she gives two figs about, a patient.

Add your own additions to the list in the comments, and enjoy your hangover tomorrow!

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