Warning: Use of undefined constant TTFTITLES_VERSION - assumed 'TTFTITLES_VERSION' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/aparenti/public_html/aparentinamerica/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/ttftitles.php on line 26

Warning: Use of undefined constant TTFTITLES_DIRECTORY - assumed 'TTFTITLES_DIRECTORY' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/aparenti/public_html/aparentinamerica/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/ttftitles.php on line 27

Warning: Use of undefined constant TTFTITLES_DEBUG - assumed 'TTFTITLES_DEBUG' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/aparenti/public_html/aparentinamerica/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/ttftitles.php on line 28

Warning: Use of undefined constant text - assumed 'text' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/aparenti/public_html/aparentinamerica/wp-content/plugins/ttftitles/ttftitles.php on line 35
Post-Tornado Stress Syndrome - Jessica McFadden is A Parent in America – One Funny Mother Blogger

Yesterday I felt like a damsel in a cheesy summer apocalypse movie. I stood at my sliding glass door and stupidly watched as three 30-foot pine trees from our neighbors’ yard came rushing towards me. They barely missed the house, took out a beautiful Japanese maple tree we love, but kindly missed the kids’ wooden swing set and the shed. And there those pines will lay until the tree guys in the area finish counting all their cash and finally return our calls.

Today I feel like the leader of a band of wandering winos as the kids and I hide out in the local library for the blessed air conditioning and Internet connection, our bellies full of two Slurpees each and the gas tank almost empty from driving around in the air-conditioned car.  Earlier today we huddled three to a chair at Starbucks so I could send a document to my supervisor, as others all around me waited in line at outlets to charge their phones and log on for work.

The McDonald’s in our area, with its free Wi-Fi AND children’s PlayLand, looked like a college bar on Dollar Beer Night. (And speaking of beer, what’s with all the wine and beer shops closing due to no power?  THIS IS WHEN WE NEED YOU MOST!)

Even our pool is closed.  I don’t know why we can’t just make all the kids promise not to pee in it-just for one day!-and then swim around in unfiltered water and turn this tragedy into a mini vacay.

Tornadoes.

Earthquakes.

Blizzards.

Bad cell phone service.

No power during heat waves.

No power and unplowed roads during snowstorms.

I know most of these complaints are due to acts of God, but still, I’m seriously ticked.  (Oh, speaking of God, the reason I didn’t post last week was I was deep, deep in the depths of vacation bible school at our parish – sorry for not sending out the 411, but I could barely spell my name by the end of the day.)

Anyways, Montgomery County, 99.9% of the time I adore you. But your sucky weather and infrastructure this year can kiss my

sweaty

Slurpee-stained

library-carpet scented

booty.

How about you guys – how are you all surviving?  Is your power back on?