Alice – 20 weeks

A real conversation

Friend: You smell good. New perfume?

Me: Sort of. It’s the smelly flowers from the Pat the Bunny book.

Friend: As in ‘Judy smells the pretty flowers….’

Me: ‘…now YOU smell the stinky flowers.’ Exactly. Except it’s Paul who’s the future florist. Or possibly a jeweler since he can’t get enough of Mummy’s ring.

Friend: Wow, Jess. Wow.

Me: Don’t you dare ask me what I do all day or I’ll make you touch my scratchy calves.