Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood: The Good, The Bad, and the Scary is a scary good read. You’ll laugh, you’ll laugh so hard you cry, you’ll cry with relief that you are not alone in finding this mothering business one daunting futhermucker.
In short, it is the best book I have read in a long time. (And not just because I received a special shout out as a “wonderful online friend” in the acknowledgements.)
Live in the DC area? Be sure to attend one of the local Scary Mommy readings this week! Live elsewhere? Find Jill’s nearest stop on the Scary Tour!
The book contains short essays of motherhood full of humor and reality by my friend Jill Smokler of the insanely popular blog Scary Mommy. Whether she is admitting that she wants to “kick your ass hard” in the birthday party wars or considers the community pool “hell on earth”, Jill is a mom to whom all of us can relate and adore. She is hilarious and refreshingly honest about what really is going through mothers’ heads and lives while parenting young children.
Me and the beautiful Jill Smokler, who has one of the best-selling books on Amazon!
The book’s chapters all begin with the most outrageous anonymous confessions from the confessional and message boards populated by Scary Mommy’s followers: real parents like us.
In honor of the fun, freaky and fabulously juicy confessions in Confessions of a Scary Mommy, here are some of my own:
- I chose my side of the bed when we moved into our new home and bedroom based on the distance from the door. Since my spot is farther, the kids will naturally go to Daddy’s side for nighttime and early morning visits/needs.
- I look forward to my baby’s naptime with a glee saved usually for unexpected weight loss and bonus checks.
- I stopped nursing Alice before one year, even though I had loads of milk and support.
- I regularly throw out the kids’ artwork and then blame it on our paper-eating cats.
- It’s almost Alice’s first birthday but I still have not booked her nine/ten month well visit. I tell our pediatrician that I like to space out the vaccinations based on a modified version of the Dr. Sears schedule, but really, it’s just due to our family’s busy schedule.
- I love looking at the pretty, creative kids lunch ideas and bentos on Pinterest, but Charlie and Eve’s lunches consist of the most non-creative containers of yogurt, cheese sticks, baggies of grapes and sandwiches cut boringly in half.
- These confessions? They are not one percent as bad as the real doozies I have shared myself in the Scary Mommy Confessional!
Would you like to win one of TWO awesome AUTOGRAPHED & DEDICATED ESPECIALLY TO YOU copies of Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood: The Good, The Bad, and the Scary? Then leave your own parenting confession below!
(If you need anonymity, you may use a pseudonym for your comment, but please use a real e-mail address – it will not be published but I need that to contact you if you win.)
The two winners will be randomly drawn on April 17, 2012 at midnight.
Disclosure: I received a free advance review copy of the book. No other compensation was received. Amazon affiliate links are used.
Stimey says:
You know the old joke about how you don’t have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun the person you’re standing next to? Well, I don’t have to outlast the crying kid downstairs, I just have to outlast my husband. I am the master of feigning sleep in order to outrun the bear.
[Reply]
Jessica Reply:
April 17th, 2012 at 4:10 pm
I have been known to fake dead sleep as well!
[Reply]
Delora says:
My happiest parenting day was when my son was old enough to get himself some cheerios from the kitchen and bring them back to my bed so I didn’t have to get up before turning on the TV. I was working nights at the time, so needed the extra hour of sleep that two PBS shows offered me.
[Reply]
Kristin says:
Um – where to begin??? I’ve been known to say that I look forward to and enjoy my annual trips to the GYN because I KNOW it’s an hour or so of kid-free time!!
[Reply]
Jessica Reply:
April 17th, 2012 at 4:11 pm
Bravo! A truly fabulous confession. Wearing the skimpy gown sometimes better than wearing the mantle of MOM!
[Reply]
Cindi says:
I try to laugh at our family life as much as
possible! If I didn’t laugh, I would be crying
and that usually doesn’t help as much…..
Being a parent, is not for the faint-hearted.
What a delightful book on parenting!
Many thanks, Cindi
[Reply]
Lisa says:
My confession: Sometime I lock myself in my bedroom & tell my kids that mommy needs a time out!
[Reply]
Whitney says:
I hate balloons. With a passion. One crazy morning as I was trying to rush to get my kids to school, they were not listening to my naggings – “brush your teeth”, “get your shoes on”, “get your backpacks”. Instead they were chasing a balloon, banging it on each other’s heads, crashing into the walls while running in never ending circles. WITH A STUPID BALLOON! Suddenly, I was my true “I hate balloons self”. I grabbed it and squeezed the crap out of it with my nails until the sides of the balloon were touching in the middle. It would not pop. So I held it to the floor and stomped on it like crazy. My 3 year old daughter ran away crying while my 6 year old son stood there in complete horror. The balloon popped. I looked at my husband. “Too harsh?” I asked. To which he replied, “Too harsh. But down the line, if they remember, maybe try to say it was all a bad dream.” But for some reason I will totally own this one. I mean, we have to have some dysfunctional stories to talk about every year at Christmas dinner, right? That is, if my children aren’t completely damaged by then.
[Reply]
Jessica Reply:
April 17th, 2012 at 4:13 pm
I join you in balloon loathing! I once – while driving – grabbed the Trader Joe’s helium balloons my kids were fighting over, pressed the window button and then threw the balloons out of the car.
We also had the police come to the house once because a helium balloon set off the alarm system motion detector.
LOATHE them too!
[Reply]
aimee @ smilingmama says:
I can’t wait to read this book!! I love all the confessions in the comments here! I never make my son make the bed. I just don’t care!
[Reply]
Anne Ramer says:
I once put my 10 month old in the baby swing for an entire 3 hour birthday party of her older sibling. Atleast twice at the party, people asked where I got the realistic doll for my daughter. And when I mentioned that was a real child, many attempted to pick her up to which I responded with a don’t tough that sleeping baby or I will tell your child santa isn’t real. I had ten three year olds and their over involved parents over for a swim/ change into your favorite princess outfit party. There was enough sugar and hyperactivity that the last thing I needed was to have to hold an infant while I tried to handle the craziness. I had one parent tell me that the swing is just an easy way to neglect your child but I disagree. The youngest was happy and to this day falls quickly asleep the second you put her in a moving car, has no fear of roller coasters and can entertain herself wihout my constant interaction. Plus I am thinking if she is interested in the astronaut program, the g forces thing shoud be a cinch!
[Reply]
Jessica Reply:
April 17th, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Nothing is worse than judge-y parents, esp. those with less children than you. I applaud your early astronaut training!
[Reply]
Crystal says:
Sometimes I daydream about choking the living daylights out of my stepkids.
[Reply]
Liz says:
I know some people are incredibly opposed to jumperoos, exersaucers, swings and so on but sometimes mommy just needs a break… And baby loves them. A friend of mine jokingly refers to the saucer as the neglect-o-tron. I am totally ok with that
[Reply]
sara says:
I have about a million things I could list. I will sum it up by saying monday mornings when all is quiet is the best day of the week!!
[Reply]
Mindy says:
Oh, the scary mommy stories I could tell…but I won’t. Instead just this one, which is not so scary…I managed to (mostly) not have my son watch television until he was two. Then we were going to take a 7 hour car trip and our friends offered us ‘baby crack,’ otherwise known as a portable DVD player with movies. He’s been hooked ever since for long car trips (and plane trips)…and so are we….
I would love a copy of the book…it always makes me feel a little better to know that I’m not the only one who has those scary mommy moments.
[Reply]
Elaine says:
These confessions are so great – because I keep nodding my head like “0h yeah – that too!”. To the person who got judged about the swing – I just want to add that my son took his naps every day in the swing for a YEAR – and he only stopped then because his head was bobbing backwards over the back of the swing because he was too tall for it. I LOVED THAT SWING – as did he. It made my life work. He was a TERRIBLE sleeper (although now he is the rockingest of all sleepers). I hope whomever invented the swing is a wealthy person. They deserve it!
And, I swaddled my daughter for 10 months – tightly – because she loved it and she freakin’ slept all the time. I have recently learned that many people things moms who swaddle this long are bad. They are wrong.
Can you tell I like my sleep?
[Reply]
Corey Feldman says:
I don’t remember A LOT of my own boy’s infancies. I just blogged about it here. http://www.coreyjf.com/2012/04/depression-blurriness-and-my-boys-infancies/
[Reply]