After I became a mother, specifically during the first few stress-filled years of babies and toddlers, I was amazed by the things that I had to give up. No amount of parenting books, websites or parent friends can truly prepare you for your list of sacrifices you will make in the name of motherhood.
I gave up my job to stay home.
I gave up my body to the changes of pregnancy and nursing.
I gave up the spontaneity of romance with my husband.
I gave up every second of my free time to caring for small humans.
I gave up sleep and my body’s needs to the needs of new, small bodies.
I gave up my mind to constant thoughts of my children.
I gave up a lot.
But what I gained was so much greater. And the fact that all those sacrifices paled in comparison to the joys and the positive gains? That is the miracle of motherhood.
What I gained was the purest, most unconditional love I have ever known. This love flows continuously from my heart, to my children, through my husband and is reflected back to me in bigger waves than I give. This love is hard-won and claims many aspects of my former life that I enjoyed, but it also takes away many of the petty, ugly, sorrowful parts of my life and personality that existed pre-kids.
I gave up a life based on selfishness.
I gave up loneliness.
I gave up a life lived for temporary things.
I gave up fixations on unworthy goals.
I gave up my life to something greater than myself.
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And now, 10 years into this motherhood gig, I also gained 13 incredible blogging women friends and a place on the #NakedMoms blogging collective. We are 13 women who will nakedly write together about motherhood each month. I look forward to learning and growing with them this year, and reading their beautiful writings.
You can read their wise words too! Each month I will provide links to their essays on the group theme.
#NakedMoms January 2014: Giving Up
Giving Up Supposed To Be by Brandi at Mama Knows It All
Giving Up And Getting Down by Heather at Diary of A First Time Mom
To Be a Better Mom You Have to Give Up by Steph at Confessions of A Stay-At-Home Mom
I Am A Recovering Perfectionist by Thien-Kim at I’m Not The Nanny
Giving Up On Perfect Single Motherhood by Laila at Only Laila
The Time I Almost Gave Up on Motherhood by Vaneese at Mommy Works A Lot
To Let Go and Let God by Jacquie at The Sweeter Side of Mommyhood
I Didn’t Want to be a Mom by Summer at The Dirty Floor Diaries
Mothering While Introverted by Diamonte at Liberated Mommy
Motherhood: I Give Up by Stephanie at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
Comments
Nae
I have read a couple of these posts already and I’m loving this series!
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Brandi
“I gave up my life to something greater than myself” – YES!!! Isn”t that what it’s all about, really? I mean, how empty would my life be if I was all focused on MeMeMe all the time? LOVE this!
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WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion
Beautifully said, Jessica. Just beautiful. You’re so right, too; what we give up we get back ten-fold. Such an honor to be involved in this project with you! xo
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Thien-Kim
Being a mother means a lot of sacrifices, but it’s totally worth it1
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Lara Akinsanya
I love this post Jessica. It is my favorite one so far. I, for one, am guilty of focusing more on what I had to give up as a mom and not so much about what I have gained. Thanks for the reminder. You are awesome!!
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Heather H
I love how you turned the negative into the positive! When we think of giving up, we always think we’re in a worse place, but your examples show that giving up can elevate us to a new level in life.I also gave up loneliness! I now have a little shadow:)
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