And holy cow, I was chosen as the winner of the funniest Momfinitions.
I think it’s all the hilarious comments and emails that I receive daily from you guys, my fellow parents that read APISS. You all have me in stitches every day, and your funny is rubbing off.
Here were my Momfinitions – each entrant was asked to submit five:
Dine-and-diss: 1)When a parent lovingly makes a meal for her child, only to have said child completely reject the meal; 2) Although you have taught your child mealtime manners, child still loudly says ‘It’s yucky!’ when presented with food as a guest in another home or family function. I was so embarrassed, at my mother-in-law’s this weekend Charlie did a total dine-and-diss.
Disaster relief: FEMA-worthy work provided by that rare soul who stays and assists with toy cleanup at the end of a playdate hosted at another parent’s home. I love Leticia, she always provides disaster relief at the end of playgroup.
Peenial: A child’s blatant denial of her need to urinate. “Do you have to go to the bathroom, we’ll be on the road awhile?” “No Mom, I just went.” Honey, Eve is in total peenial, we’ll be stopping at an Exxon before we’re out of town.
Screamapillar: A very hungry baby swaddled in a receiving blanket, crying for mama and milk. Sorry Sarah, got to go and get the screamapillar out of the crib. [Full disclosure: This is a Simpsons character and the use in reference to a baby must be credited to my brother-in-law George, who is funnier than Seinfeld and needs his own show STAT, top federal security clearance or no.]
Momup: As opposed to makeup or a pretty getup, momup is a smattering of fast grooming passes and clothing grabs performed in a meager attempt to look presentable before heading to school drop off or other function. Usually momup is donned when in need of a shower and is a look you would never have tried to pull off before procreating. I can’t believe I ran into my old boss in momup, thank goodness we didn’t chat for long.
But I’m not the only winner here. As promised, I have a free Scholastic book for FIVE of you guys that left comments on my Momfinitions post. I said that I’d pick the funniest, but all submissions were so dead-on on the trials of mommyhood that I simply used Random.org to randomly choose the five. [Fun fact: Leticia of Tech Savvy Mama is featured in my own Momfinitions, inspired by our history as playgroup buddies, and she’s an APISS winner as well.]
The five APISS winners are:
Congrats to you guys – as promised, please choose the Scholastic book of your choice for your child (valued up to $7) and I’ll send it to you as my thanks for your inspiration and humor.