Every time I attend BlogHer I am asked, “Is it worth it? Should I go?”

Here’s my short answer: Sure! A friend of mine convinced me to go the first time, so if you want to come with me next time, I’m your gal.

Now, here’s my long-winded answer.

I have attended the BlogHer conference three times: San Francisco 2008, NYC 2010 and last week, NYC 2012. (Apparently I need a full two years to recover each time I attend.)

While BlogHer can be wonderful and wild and incredible, it is at first invigorating and then exhausting. I attend to see hundreds of friends I normally only get to hang out with on the Internet, to meet writers I admire and to connect with more women who do what I do. I am also there to learn from leaders in social media and maybe even garner a professional opportunity or two.

I believe BlogHer is worth the time and monetary investment. I do not believe that every female blogger needs to attend BlogHer in order to find success online, but I do firmly believe that if you go, go with the intention to learn and connect with others. Don’t go to party (oh, how I despise the use of “party” as a verb) or grab for free stuff. The parties are fabulous, sure, but they are foremost a unique and fun forum for meeting more great people. Do go to bond with women in your pajamas over wine or fancy flavored Pellegrino in hotel bathroom glasses and croon the intro to DeGrassi Junior High with people who make your heart sing. Do go to see your sisters, grow your business and hone your writing craft.

I also attend conferences, and occasionally speak at them, to spread the word about blogs which aim to strengthen and inform communities, the goal of my very first blog for DC-area families, A Parent in Silver Spring. In 2010 I was a Room of Your Own panel moderator on Resource Blogging, and my co-panelists were three of the women I love most in this world…and the next: Leticia Barr, Amy Mascott and the late, oh so beloved, Susan Niebur. The process of planning our presentation and the challenge of providing to attendees tangible help for improving or beginning their own resource blogs brought us closer together. (We also worked with the beautiful Jean Winegardner, but she was already booked to speak in an autism session panel and BlogHer didn’t let her double dip.) Hopefully, we assisted other resource bloggers in their journeys.

It was really, really, really hard to attend this year’s BlogHer conference without Susan. In 2008 she urged me to go, gently but persistently. We were new friends, I was a new blogger, and she promised that it would be a wonderful time. She roomed with Stimey, I bunked with Tech Savvy Mama, and the four of us had a stupendous time.

In 2010, the four of us again attended together, requesting rooms side-by-side. We presented our ROYO together. And many of us DC Moms who consider Susan our sister sat in the front table to cheer her on as she was honored for her writing and selected as one of the Voices of the Year. (Please read her honored essay, In the name of awareness, if you have not already.) It was a moment of triumph for Susan, and all of us who love her wept with love and pride. She was tired, so tired on that evening, after pulling a long BlogHer day in the midst of treatment, but she rallied and made it and she was magnificent.

She also looked radiant. The week before BlogHer 2010 Susan and I were on the phone talking packing and dresses, and when she expressed worry over what to wear I filled my minivan with dresses that I thought would look pretty on her punk rock, post-op, brave figure and drove over. When she put on the royal blue silk trapeze-style 3.1 Phillip Lim dress, we knew it was the one.

That dress again hangs in my closet. Her husband Curt and her mother Pat gave it back to me after she died.

I didn’t attend BlogHer 2011 because Alice was too little and Susan was too sick to go. Last summer I couldn’t imagine attending BlogHer without Susan and instead of flying to San Diego we spent a ton of time together during the summer months. Kristen also sat out BlogHer in sisterhood and solidarity. We talked about things big and small, gave our kids water pistols, ate bacon and watermelon, cooed over baby Alice, and tried to strengthen our faith in God, even as we knew Susan’s days were winding down.

This spring Susan’s best friend Marty asked if I was thinking of going. Marty had submitted another beautiful post that Susan wrote at the end of her life, “It’s Not Fair!”, and it was chosen as a Voices of the Year honoree. Leticia and Amy and Jean and Kristen asked if I was going. Again, I said that I couldn’t do it without Susan. How could I go without her when she was the one who always urged me to go?

But then Susan’s husband Curt (WhyDaddy, although Susan often referred to him as WonderDaddy) called. He had two tickets that he and Susan had bought back in 2011 for this year’s BlogHer…did I want one?

And so I went. Because another Niebur gave me the nudge.

The first day of BlogHer I was honored to receive an invitation (along with Marty and other blogger friends of Susan) to an event hosted by the American Cancer Society and their Blogger Advisory Council, of which Susan was a member, along with Leticia and Elena. We met at Hope Lodge, a warm home away from home for cancer patients receiving treatment when in New York. There, led by survivor and artist Darryle Pollack, we painted individual tiles which Darryle will assemble afterwards in a piece in Susan’s memory. The completed mosaic of love will decorate either Hope Lodge in NYC or the ACS headquarters in Atlanta.

Later that evening I volunteered in the Serenity Suite at BlogHer, a place where Susan was able to catch some important rest and quiet in 2010. I was so grateful to meet my co-volunteer Annette and the Serenity Suite rock stars Maggie, Heather and Ellie. Those women are angels (and crazy-smart devils) for creating a haven of peace and sanity, in addition to serenity, within the hectic BlogHer bubble.

The next day I thought I would skip the Voices of the Year community keynote. It was being held in the exact same room where Susan gave her own community keynote. Although I felt better after the ACS and Serenity Suite experiences, I was still missing Susan so much. I tramped through the streets of New York, filled with anger that she was no longer there with us.

But then I received texts from Marty and Jean and Amy and Stacey and Sandie and Sue and J.J. that they had the table, they were saving a seat for me. Where was I?

Again, those loving nudges reminded me so much of our friend. Those other women loved her just as much as me, and they were bravely sitting there in the front, right where Susan would be sitting (or more likely, looking down at us from the stage) if she were here. So I came in late, crouching down M*A*S*H helicopter style to get that seat with our DC Moms crew, Susan’s girls, right in front. They had hugs and cupcakes and tears in their own eyes.

And we listed to this year’s Voices of the Year. We clapped and cheered and laughed and bawled our eyes out.

Susan’s spirit was with us after all.

That was my BlogHer.

BlogHer 2008

BlogHer 2010 (Photo credit: Stimey)

BlogHer 2012 (Photo credit: Marty)

Favorite New Children’s Novel & Giveaway:

The Last Guardian and the Reject Bike by Darren Simon

This inspiring fantasy book about a misfit kid and a seemingly-hunk-o-junk bike that turns out to have magical powers was a big hit with my six year old son Charlie. Completely original, the story possessed some aspects of the time-traveling adventures of The Magic Treehouse and the magic of the Harry Potter series, as well as some Roald-Dahlish-preyed-upon-kid-conquers-all themes too. Charlie adored it from beginning to end. And what’s really cool: Author Darren Simon is from my hometown in Southern California! This novel is the first in The Gateway Chronicles series about main character Chuck and his magic bike. We can’t wait to read the next installment!

Disclosure and Giveaway: Author Darren Simon provided a copy of the book for our review. Still in new condition, he has generously agreed to give this book away to a lucky A Parent in Silver Spring reader! Leave a comment here to be entered to win this copy. The winner will be drawn on Tuesday, August 3rd.

Favorite Workout Wear & Giveaway

Marika Miracles Waist Cincher Tank With Built-In Bra

Just because it’s hot and humid doesn’t mean that we get a free pass on working out (don’t I wish!) So I’m loving this all-in-one tank and jog bra from Marika. It’s super flattering and super-supportive. I can pull this on and jog all over the neighborhood without bouncing around, or do headstands in yoga class while keeping my breasts in the same zip code. And it’s only one layer, so I don’t look lumpy or have to wash my usual two jog bras and tee. Also, with its side zipper and cinchy Lycra fabric, it’s super slimming.

Disclosure and Giveaway: I received a free Waist Cincher Tank from Marika for review purposes, and a second tank to give away to a lucky reader. Leave a comment if you’re interested in this ingenious workout wear piece. Winner will be drawn on Tuesday August 3.

Favorite Summer Anthems

Magic by B.oB. featuring Rivers Cuomo

Giving Up the Gun by Vampire Weekend (check out the cameos in this fun video)

All Together Now by Andre 3000 (b/c even 30-something suburban moms are allowed to feel like Kobe Bryant during a workout)

So you have your cute new workout tank that holds everything in check. Now you need some new songs that are so good, they keep you pounding the pavement, making you only stop to find the replay button on your iPod.

Favorite Beach Read:

The Opposite of Me by Sarah Pekkanen

There’s Chick Lit. And then there’s GRADE A Chick Lit. The difference between the two is like comparing canned tuna and sashimi-quality bluefin. And The Opposite of Me, the debut novel of local writer, mother and columnist Sarah Pekkanen, definitely falls into the Grade A category. I can’t stand a bodice-ripper, but an Anna Quindlen novel? Wendy Wasserstein (god rest her brainy, beautiful soul)? Jennifer Weiner? Bring it on! Here’s what Weiner herself says of Pekkanen’s best-selling story,

“Fresh and funny and satisfying. A terrific book about sisters that actually made me laugh out loud. I was completely drawn into Lindsey’s world and rooted for her from beginning to end.”

So, the queen hath spoken: There is a new duchess of Chick Lit in town. Enjoy this book on the beach, on your deck or in your bed with a glass of vino. It’s delish.

Disclosure: I purchased my own copy of The Opposite of Me. However, Sarah Pekkanen generously gifted 10 copies of the book to the MomzShare Silver Spring soiree where local women bloggers/writers became the lucky recipients of her generosity. Thank you Sarah!!

Favorite Pants & Coupons/Invitations to Special Event

Gap Slim Crop Black Pants, Gap Sexy Boot Jeans and Gap Faded Boyfriend Jeans

Finding great pants is a real chore sometimes. So I hope this information is helpful to you: my friend Amy of Teach Mama (a very slender size 2 with long legs) and I (a curvy size 8-10-12 -WHY can’t they just streamline women’s sizing like the guys?? — who’s all torso) both went home from the Gap today bearing the Slim Crop Black Pants. Proof they work for all sizes and body types. (I know Oprah is quoted all the time, especially by chicks in my demographic, but here’s a good line of hers - imagine it delivered in her best soul sistah voice to the camera, “Honey, ain’t NOTHIN’ wrong with a size 12.”)

I also fell in love with the Sexy Boot Jeans in the new dirty vintage wash (this wash is either sold out online or not yet avail online but it’s in the stores and featured in the new ad campaigns) as pictured at left. Got to love a pair of pants that has both “sexy” and “dirty” in the title. Meow! I also finally found a pair of super casual, super beat up Boyfriend Jeans that made me feel like cute Becky Thatcher, rather than a shady bus station lurker.

If you’re in need of pants but dreading hours in front of that three-way mirror at the mall, just go to the Gap. They have over 7 different types/cuts of ultra-flattering black pants as well as their countless denim options. I found today that the sales associates at Gap can usually eyeball you and then recommend the cuts of pants in the store that will work best for your figure.

Disclosure: Gap is providing the speakers at BlogHer 2010 with both #gapmagic black pants and denim outfits for the BlogHer conference. I know, lucky ducky me. Believe me, this stuff doesn’t happen very often. The Slim Crops and Sexy Boot Jeans were courtesy Gap. The Boyfriends I bought for myself. And I am so picky about clothes and fashion that I would not write about them unless I really dug them.

Coupon/Special Invitation Giveaways: I have two exclusive invites to a special event at your local Gap store that entitles you to 30% off all shopping on Thursday August 5th at 6pm and the screening of a new documentary, Blue Gold: The Story of American Blue Jeans. The event is only at Gap stores, not Gap Outlet, Gap Kids, etc. The 30% off coupon must be used on Thursday. Winners will be drawn on Tuesday morning.

Favorite Baby Gift:

Baby Sleeping Bag (aka a sleep sack) from Planet Chipoupine

I’m in love with Chipoupine’s exquisite handmade baby products, straight from France. Since I’m unable to head to Paris these days or hem my pants, let alone hand-sew anything for new nieces and nephews, I believe these baby products make for the perfect baby gift. Everyone’s putting their babies back to sleep and without loose blankets, so what better way to calm a new mom’s nerves and make her feel special than a hand-sewn sleep sack for her bebe? These sleep sacks feature arms that zip off - great for hot summers - and a zipper that’s cut on the bias, making it very easy to get onto, or off of, a sleeping baby. And that gorgeous baby in the picture at right? That’s my niece Abbey when she visited this summer with my sister Sarah. Both gals are so beautiful they deserve nothing but the best in baby swag. Click on the photo to see the detail on the sleeping bag (as well as the detail of Abbey’s cuteness!).

Disclosure: The generous Planet Chipoupine ladies, Theadora and Ghislaine (have you ever heard such fully French names?) sent me one sleeping bag to review and keep, which was promptly given to my niece. Abbey gives it two baby thumbs up!

Those products indicated above as provided by the sponsoring companies were not solicited by me — representatives in all cases contacted me and requested that I help promote their products. I am not “required” to write about products in order to receive the review samples. In fact, I receive many more products that I do not write about and often send right back. No matter if I received freebies or purchased myself, all opinions expressed are 100% my own. I did not receive, in any case above, additional monetary compensation beyond the review sample products.

This summer I’ll again be attending the BlogHer conference to connect with other women who blog and learn about how to make this website even better for you all (and, OK, I won’t deny it - I’m also going to have one heck of a girls weekend. But it’s mainly for the improvement of A Parent in Silver Spring and for you guys. Really.)

I’ll be rooming with three gorgeous women who also write resource blogs, live in the SS, are mothers and about two thousand other things we have in common. They are

• Leticia Barr of Tech Savvy Mama
• Jean Winegardner of AutMont and Stimeyland
• Susan Niebur of Mothers With Cancer, Women in Planetary Science and Toddler Planet

We’re all passionate about using blogs to share information with others. Whether we’re writing about activities for families, appropriate technology for families, autism awareness and events, support for mothers fighting cancer or women scientists in male-dominated fields, we’re all online A LOT because of our passions.

So we’ve thrown our hat in the ring to host a Room of Your Own at BlogHer on resource blogging.

We will not be paid for this or compensated in any way. Heck, we’re all paying our own way to the conference, fueled by our excitement to make our websites better and communications more effective (and drink flavored vodka.) Rooms of Your Own are different that formal speaking gigs at BlogHer - they’re more a space designated so attendees with a common interest can come together and learn.

Rooms of Your Own are determined by votes. If you’re already a registered reader, member or user of BlogHer.com, please vote for us here.

If you’re not familiar with BlogHer, a quick registration would be mondo-appreciated so you can vote. If you’ve been thinking about starting your own blog, oh my gosh, this site is such a great free resource! And the contributors to BlogHer.com are top notch. Warning - you’ll be sucked in reading here all day. It’s top-caliber writing by amazing women…and some men too.

Here’s the official text we submitted:

Resource Blogging - Serving Communities One Post At a Time

As blogging has gained momentum, more individuals and groups are seeing it as an effective, powerful means to communicate information communities need.
Many BlogHer attendees have started blogs

• to serve their local communities
• assist persons online with whom they share a circumstance or concern
• or fill an information void through the power of the blog

Some of us are established bloggers with separate resource blogs begun after learning of a need through our personal blogs, such as Mothers With Cancer, which grew out of the support needs Susan Niebur and 20 other mothers with cancer identified as they blogged their own battles with cancer on their personal blogs. Others are mission-based bloggers who joined the blogging world when we had an idea and saw blogging as the ideal communication tool for our communities, such as Tech Savvy Mama, Leticia Barr’s website which she started to help parents navigate technologies for their children.

However all resource bloggers are driven by a desire to teach, build networks, and create support systems in their own areas of interest. Resource blogs are started not necessarily because of a personal need to write and create, but a need to serve.

Resource blogger Jessica McFadden of A Parent in Silver Spring, a local website that has gained national attention for providing information for parents in the Washington DC area, will be facilitating discussions on how individuals can launch their own effective and easy public relations campaigns to reach their communities and the media.

This Room is not about blogs as businesses, or resource blogs that have primarily entrepreneurial and profit-based goals. (Although discussions of ad revenue, personal gratification, or professional opportunities that grow out of resource blogs may be appropriate.) Let’s gather to discuss and highlight the biggest, most important rewards of resource blogging: effectively impacting and connecting with our communities.

Passion for our resource topics, and effecting positive change in our communities is what brings us back to the keyboards, day in and day out. Let’s talk about why we do it, how we can do it better, how we can better reach our communities, and brainstorm with and support those BlogHer attendees thinking about beginning their own resource blogs.

If at the end of the session new URLs are born that inform and serve others, oh (wo)man, how awesome would that be?

More Great ROYO proposals:


Teacher/Parents and the Web: Let’s Make it Work

Female Athletes: An Unspoken Sisterhood

Again, thanks for voting!


We now return to your regular scheduled programming on what to do with your kids.